Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing here...am I really being effective in my teaching...am I helping to promote positive change in the school...are the teachers learning something when I teach or just using me to do less work themselves...will the teachers use any of the strategies I'm teaching them once I'm gone?
Who really knows? Ok, I guess God does...and I just have to trust that God's plans are working out through my life. I believe God sent me here and wants me to be here, so I often remind myself of a verse in Proverbs that says, "Whoever gives heed to instruction prospers, and blessed is he who trusts in the LORD."(Prov.16:20)
I admit, at times, I want to jump on a plane and head home! A lesson goes bad... the kids don't seem to be listening or getting the questions I'm asking them. Or the teachers ask me to do something totally menial or say something that gives me an uncomfortable twinge throughout my body that tells me they are taking advantage of me.
BUT, at other times, the kids or teachers will surprise me with a question that shows their deep interest or they'll do something that shows they are learning/changing. There are several kids I started working with last September who couldn't read one word out of a simple book...now they are sounding out words and READING! Kids get excited when I walk through the door with a stack of books in my arms, because they know what's coming. These are the moments that make me smile and know I am supposed to be here.
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2 comments:
Oh Beth, hang in there. You are doing huge things. How strong of you to quit your job and go to UGANDA!!! I admire you so much. You are an inspiration to me! :) I love you Beth!
I know it's hard.... and sadly we will probably never know if we made an impact... i know the urge of wanting to get on a flight and leave... why do you think i had the flight schedules memorized?? =)
but i know that you are impacting some lives. like you said a couple of them can sound out words. maybe they will get through there o levels and become a cook or own a matoke shop and be able to send their kids to school on their own shilling. and there kids will make dresses and then the next generation will be doctors.... oh its good to see i still have a little bit of the idealist i once was left in me....
i think it might be time for you to get out of gaba and go on a holiday
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